Acid is not a monday night drug
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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