whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
