What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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