I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
