she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Boobs are out for the taking
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
