they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
