Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
