if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
