he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
