you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
