i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
