I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
