i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
