I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
