You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
