I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
