How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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