there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
