what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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