My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
