considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize