you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
