just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
