Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
