Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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