i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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