i just wanna soil my oats bro
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
