I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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