Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize