I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
