My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
