a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
