she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
