that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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