i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
