Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
