using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
