Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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