While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
