I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
