so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
