so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
