I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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