I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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