I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
