Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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