hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
