...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
