on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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