we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
