can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
