put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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