you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
