just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
no you cant smoke seaweed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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