we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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