the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
