just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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