God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
