do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
