you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
