I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She bit a glass in half.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
