I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize